By Annie Lane
Dear Anne: I’ve never sent anything to a column before, but I’d like to say something from a grandchild’s perspective on “Brokenhearted Grandma.”
I don’t say hello to my grandmother unless I have to because we’re usually in the same room. I won’t go out of my way to talk to him. I actively avoid any situation where this would be a necessity. “Brokenhearted Grandma” sounded like mine.
But the other side of the story is that she’s a horrible person. She sent us “lavish” gifts, but she was never there. She made no effort to be in our lives growing up, and she denounces my sister and I as “the failed kids”, despite having lucrative careers and a solid foundation in life.
She’s narcissistic, complicit, and pouts when she doesn’t get what she wants. She tries to play the victim – like your writer – all the time. She and my grandfather were emotionally abusive and dismissive of all of their children, and it wasn’t until this year that my mother finally realized that none of us could stand her mother and that our grandmother acted like a spoiled 16 years old.
There are so many examples I could cite, but for the sake of discussion, just remember that there are two sides to every story and not all grandkids like this are lazy. Sometimes they want nothing to do with a parent, and because we are adults, we can make the decision to eliminate toxic people from our lives. And it’s not like she’s unaware of it, but she plays the victim card very well. – The other side of the room
Dear Other Room Sign: Every family situation is different, and if your grandmother is all you say, I don’t blame you for wanting to ignore her. It’s always important to hear the other person’s point of view.
Dear Anne: One of my sisters has been monitoring my online bank account for a while now. I don’t monitor her or our brother’s account, so I have no idea why she’s doing this. For me, this is a major violation of my privacy, and therefore I feel disrespected.
To stop him from doing this, I recently went to my bank and asked them to close the existing account and open a new one.
I hope this will put an end to the 100% wrongful treatment of my sister.
What do you think of this situation, Annie? — Dealing with a Snoopy Sister
Dear Sister Snoopy: Your bank account is none of her business, and spying on her is a huge violation of your privacy. I don’t understand how your sister even got access to YOUR bank account in the first place. Either way, you handled the situation well by opening a new account.
But what’s going on with your sister? If you haven’t asked her, I suggest you have a serious conversation with her.
“How can I forgive my cheating partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology – featuring her favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation – is available in paperback and e-book form. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].
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